Friday, 9 May 2008
Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road
By Juan Walker
Posted: Jan 13, 2001
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I will soon release the new Chicken Office 2002, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected and evolved over time in such a way that they are now genetically endowed with the capabilities required to cross roads.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.
BILL CLINTON: I did not, repeat, did not have sexual relations with the chicken.
ERAP: Ang media ang may kasalanan diyan!
MIRIAM DEFENSOR-SANTIAGO: " Aha! I know it! That chicken crossed the road to provoke me. I move to permanently hold in contempt that chicken. I request for a restraining order, your honor, so that the chicken would not be able to cross the road again!"
RAMON REVILLA: "I concur, your honor. You see, may timbangan ako ng manok sa bahay. Doon ko nga nalaman na 96 grams ang 1000 na bills ng 1000 pesos tomake 1 million pesos. See 96 grams? 96 grams talaga! Malapit yun sa isang kilo...eh sa 96 grams talaga eh...Pero huwag nyo akong tanungin kung ilang kilo ang manok na nagcross ng road. Eh, di ko nakilo eh. I guess, takot syang pakilo. Baka kulang sya ng 96grams. In short, kulang sya ng isang kilo."
EMMA LIM: Para po uminom ng iced tea, your honor!
CHAVIT SINGSON: Eh, nililito nyo lang po ako, your honor. Di ko alam kung bakit nagcross yun ng road. Wala naman sa ledger ko kung bakit. Nililito nyo lang po ako. Nililito nyo lang po talaga ako.
CLARISSA OCAMPO: It crossed the road to go to the office of, I am sorry, Mr. Estelito Mendoza.
ESTELITO MENDOZA: Whether I will quit as a defense lawyer of the president or not, shall depend upon the decision of the president himself, not the crossing of the road by the chicken.
RAUL ROCO: It is a noble profession to be a chicken and to cross that road!
CHIEF JUSTICE HILARIO DAVIDE: Unless there is an objection, the chicken can cross that road.