Nakabilanggong Kagandahan!

Nasa recreation room ako ng hapon na iyon, day off at walang magawa, nang bigla na lang nag ALARM ng emergency itong aming bahay, at wala pang sampung segundo, ang aming telepono ay panay ang ring. Nakakabulahaw talaga, grabe! Siyempre, ang beauty ng inyong lingkod, nataranta. Di malaman kung ano ang uunahin, ang patigilin ang alarm thru entering our pin code which would take some confirmation and reconfirmation kapag sa mga ganitong klaseng alarm... o sagutin ang telepono. Siyempre, for some reason naisip ko kaagad, tumakbo sa telepono kahit napakaingay at nakakabingi itong wang wang sa loob at labas ng bahay. Buti na lang, kung nasaan ang telepono, nandun din pala ang fob key ng alarm ( o soyal di ba? ang aming bahay ay katulad na lang din ng kotse kapag iniiwanan, at a touch of a button, armed na siya. High tetsh, ay mali, high tech pala)

Kaya ang beauty nyo, answered the phone while turning the alarm off. Hay, relief! Di na maingay...... Hello, sabi ko. This is the monitoring department from ARPEL Security. Can you tell me your passcode, please. Aba, ang bruhang 'to, inuutusan ako, sino ba siya, lokaret na yun a. Nagkarambula ang mga numero sa aking ulo, di ko maalala kung ano ang kanyang tinatanong, meron ba 'nun?, Bigla akong nanlamig, kapag di ko nasabi ang tamang passcode, magpapadala sila ng mga pulis sa aming tahanan, nakakahiya, ay naku, worst, magbabayad ako ng fee kapag naabala pa sila sa isang false alarm lang, patay! Anyway, mabuti na lang nakapag - isip agad ako, sa totoo lang, di ko talaga maalala ang passcode namin with ARPEL kaya naisip ko kaagad kung ano ang ginagawa ko sa telephone banking kapag di ko masabi ang tamang passcode with them, ibinibigay ko na lang ang aking buong identity, sino ako, anong birthday ko, anong mga posibleng question and answer words ko kapag kinakailangan kong mag reset ng password, na sa tingin ko ay yun din ang mga posibleng password/passcode ko with them. It worked, pero di nya kinonfirm kung alin dun, sabi magpapadala na lang daw sila ng another passcode by mail. Medyo nakumbinsi ko naman yung babae sa kabilang linya, na ako talaga ang may-ari o nakatira sa bahay na minu-monitor nila, kaya habang nasa phone, sabi nya sa akin na tseken ang area ng bahay na nag trigger ng alarm. Ako naman, while on the phone, pumunta sa basement rec room katulad ng sinabi niya, dahil dun daw nagmula ang trigger. Eh sabi ko, ako lang naman ang nandun kanikanina lang, nag lalaro ng tennis with WII. Sarado ang dalawang bintana, well sealed at di siya nagagalaw. At this time, my kids who were in their rooms went down stairs with me at ang mga mata'y nagtatanong kung ano ang nangyayari, kaya inginuso ko na lang sa kanila na everything is okey.

Anyway, ito na. Kinakailangan kong i reset ang alarm para makasigurong secured na ulit kami, aba, ang letcheng aparato, ayaw gawin ang pinagagawa ko sa kanya. Laging ibinabandera ang CHECK 18....NOT READY!, makailang beses kong ginawa ang pag enter ng pincode, ganun at ganun ang sinasabi. Siyempre, tawag ang beauty nyo sa customer service na ipinasa naman sa monitorig department, at pagkatapos ng mahabang paliwanag, sinubukan din nilang i reset from their end, pero walang nangyari, dedma ang system, at matigas pa kaysa bato ang puso ng alarm system namin. Gusto ng personal na attention and touch, kaya sabi ng security company, kinakailangan nilang pumunta ng personal dito ulit sa bahay namin para sila mismong mag check ng kung anong kababalaghan ang ginagawa ng aming malditang alarm. Sabi pa, ang nakadownload daw na info sa kanila ay tampering daw ng seal sa 18, which is our rec room. Tingnan mo nga naman, di nga nagagalaw yun, eh. Tinanong pa ako kung pinalitan ba namin ng baterya, pero di naman, in fact, wala nga sa amin marunong makialam nun kaya di namin ginagalaw, at kung baterya man, sana nung binuksan ko yung bintana, tapos isinara, hindi magtsa-chime ang bahay, which just tells us that an access to the house has been opened, etc.


Kaya today, 48 hours pagkatapos nung mapan intrigang alarm, darating yung technician para tseken ang aming system. Yet for me, that's a two-day imprisonment, dalawang araw at gabi akong hindi mapakali, nagigising ako sa dis oras ng gabi and get up to check on the two kids in their rooms, tapos saka hihiga at mabubwisit kay Alfredo kasi sarap ng tulog niya, habang ako disturbed na naman. Mahirap ang kalagayan ng ganito. And if I have to diagnose myself, it's easy to say I have PTSS (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) which of course sakit sa utak... Mental o Psych, kumbaga! Aray, nababaliw na ba ako??????.Well, nanakawan na kasi kami minsan dun sa isa sa mga naunang bahay na aming naupahan. Catastrophy ang dating sa akin nun. Tinangay ng mga robbers halos lahat ang aming mga kayamanan, ahehehe, kung meron man at ang mga importanteng papeles. Sabi ko sana, tinangay na lang nilang lahat yung mga bagay na sa tingin nila eh may value, wag lang yung mga documents namin such as passports, visas, birth certificates, etc. Pero talagang mga halang ang bituka ng mga magnanakaw na iyon, mga bastos at walang konsiderasyon. It took us nearly a year to get our new passports and the rest of the documents. At kahit na meron na kaming mga new documents, identity threat is still there. The British Consulate dito sa Canada could not guarantee (yes, we're British citizens) us that those stolen passports could not be used by the robbers. What they assured us is that, those passports could not be used for traveling outside of the country because once they have presented the said documents to any immigration officer, it will be taken from them, and necessary investigation will be done, but should those culprits use those papers in opening accounts and what have you, they may still be likely to succeed. And in the western world, identity and credit history is critical. Kaya ever since, I don't take chances.I've done what's needed to minimize their chances such as informing the credit bureau, police, etc. at kahit nasa loob kami ng bahay, we set our alarms on to keep the perimeters of our property secured, at kahit malaya kaming nakakakilos sa loob ng teritoryo namin, kapag may nagbukas ng bintana o pinto o kahit anumang access na hindi namin alam, our warning alarm goes, meron din kaming panic button sa aming fob key, which we could press at any point necessary, whether the system is on or off. Paranoia, you may call it, but for me, it is the least I could do to stay safe'r. I know that the area we're in is safe and secure. We are in a Cul De Sac with less than a dozen houses. Our neighbours are great and professional people, and in fact two of them are doctors in the hospital where I work and we are in a neighborhood watch program. Pero para sa akin, iba pa rin ang may extra precaution.

On to careers and plans, I Digress.

As a nurse, you've got to work shifts, and as I am full time nurse in intensive care unit, I have to have a fair share of days and night hours.

Working nights is not that bad, if you are used to it. Aside from feeling like a zombie, you work like without brains. Everything is autopilot. Due to years of experience, working with the multidisciplinary team comes as second nature to me.

But lately, I have to think deep and hard about my practice. I have been audited by the CRNBC (College of Registered Nurses in British Columbia) before I was able to renew my license, and in there I have to satisfy the requirements of updating my professional practice and development, and pair it with their practice standards. It wasn't a hard audit, but really, in reality, we do more than the practice is asking, and we sacrifice a lot, our health, our brains, time, and effort, and even our personal beliefs and relationships. Nursing is not like any other jobs monday to friday 9 to 5 pm where you have a set of days off and time automatically without having so much of a fuss with your planner. Nursing is indeed complex, not only to the practice but to the one that practices it. Guess what, I love it, but if I have a choice, I prefer becoming a part time only, the other part time would be farming. Would it not be great?

When I finally made the decision to become a nurse (wish I had other choices) I am aware that night shifts are there to come. That was in 1992, I qualified in 1996, and I was only 20 years old then. I pledged to myself that I would be good and break my time in five years intervals. I have rounded around specialty wards such as maternity, neurology, respiratory, medical, and surgical by 25. Then I got my specialty in intensive care by 30, teaching/mentoring at now when I am 35, aiming to become an educator by forty, and hopefully a consultant at 45. Currently, I am at my goal, and perhaps I could easily switch to some kind of managerial jobs of sort, but I am not that kind of person. I am passionate about my bedside care and the patients that I treat therefore I knew that being in skills and practice level is what will give me job satisfaction. Another thing I have learned in this work life is that, establishing a network is necessary to let your goals achievable. Talking to your manager from the very start and outline to him/her your career goals is a very clear indication that he/she could not hold you should you want to leave or move when the time comes when you feel like it's time. Personally, I am a very loyal employee and love to become part of the group at most times. But a few occasion I have broken from my comfort zones to try new levels and tastes, and so far, I have not once a regret yet, any kind of major career decisions I have made. Hopefully, I am trained and continue to be trained in each obstacle I have yet to face.

I would like to share my spoon with you

A Holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, 'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.

The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table.. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell.

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, 'I don't understand. 'It is simple,' said the Lord. It requires but one skill...

You see, they have learned to feed each other. The greedy think only of themselves.'



When Jesus died on the cross, He was thinking of you.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone

I came across this little story or parable in a book and I would
like to share it with you today.

One afternoon a shopper at the local mall felt the need
for a coffee break. She bought herself a little bag of
cookies and put them in her shopping bag. She then got in
line for coffee, found a place to sit at one of the
crowded tables, and then taking the lid off her coffee and
taking out a magazine she began to sip her coffee and
read. Across the table from her a man sat reading a
newspaper.

After a minute or two she reached out and took a cookie.
As she did, the man seated across the table reached out
and took one too. This put her off, but she did not say
anything.

A few moments later she took another cookie. Once again
the man did so too. Now she was getting a bit upset, but
still she did not say anything.

After having a couple of sips of coffee she once again
took another cookie. So did the man. She was really
upset by this - especially since now only one cookie was
left. Apparently the man also realized that only one
cookie was left. Before she could say anything he took
it, broke it in half, offered half to her, and proceeded
to eat the other half himself. Then he smiled at her and,
putting the paper under his arm, rose and walked off.

Was she steamed. Her coffee break ruined, already
thinking ahead of how she would tell this offense to her
family, she folded her magazine, opened her shopping bag,
and there discovered her own unopened bag of cookies.

I like that story - it makes me think about how well God treats
me even when I am not treating him well or thinking all that
kindly about him.

It also makes me think about how, sometimes, I do not really
appreciate what I have or act like I know where it has come from.
It serves as a kind of reminder to me - like that reminder in
today's old testament reading.

There, Moses, after telling the people of Israel how they will
prosper in the promised land that they are about to enter, how,
after so many years of slavery and then of wandering in the
wilderness, they will eat their fill, and have fine houses and
large herds, and that their silver and gold will multiply, says:

Do not say to yourself, "my power and the might of my own
hand have gotten me this wealth." But remember the Lord
you God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth,
so that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your
ancestors, and as he swearing to you today."

Chapter eight of Deuteronomy is really one of my favourite
chapters of the Old Testament.
It speaks so well of what we all know somewhere in our hearts,
but often seem to forget in our actions and our attitudes.

It speaks of how everything we have is a gift from God,
a git worked upon by our hands, most certainly;
a gift perhaps even enhanced by our own strength,
but a gift none-the -less,
for God gives us the hands we need,
and God gives us the strength we have.

Would that I would remember this at all times - it would make my
life so much easier, and it would bless everyone around me, and
it would bless God..

Not so long ago famous people all over the world were polled by a
magazine which asked them the question - "if you could be granted
one wish that will come true right now - what would that be?"

There were some very interesting responses - but one response
impressed the magazine's editors so much that they commented on.
That response was this -

I wish that I could be given an even
greater ability to appreciate all
that I already have."

It is an interesting answer
an interesting thing to wish for.

What do you think would happen if each one of us suddenly became
a more thankful person? If all of us suddenly became a more
appreciative people?

I don't know what comes to your minds -
but I know for sure that when I was younger my mother would
have been really pleased;
and now that I am older - well I know that my wife would
be very happy
if I expressed my appreciation a little bit more than I already
do - I know that because she tells me so whenever I am apparently
forgetting who she is and what she does.

No one likes to be taken for granted - or to see someone that
they love taking things for granted.

All of us like to be appreciated,
all of us like to be thanked,
and all of us, I believe, like to see those we love
live thankful lives, appreciative lives,
so much so that we teach our children this virtue
- at our supper tables,
- during birthday parties,
- in the middle of visits from their grandparents,
- and just about anytime that they are receiving something
from someone or asking someone for something.

It is a great thing to teach our kids to say please and thank
you, it helps them out in this world,
and it is a great thing to be appreciated, to be thanked;
but as we think with holy and prayerful minds today -
as we thank God in our worship service for the harvest
we are all enjoying,
I ask you - as I ask myself - where is your sense of thankfulness
at? How complete is it? How deep does it run in your life?

I Thessalonians, chapter five, verse eighteen says

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the
will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

and in Ephesians, chapter five, where Paul is telling
new Christians how they should live, it says:

"Give thanks to God the Father at all times and for
everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

The norm and the standard of the early church of the disciples
and the apostles was really incredible and it had incredible
results in the lives of those disciples and apostles, and in the
lives of all those around them.

They lived happy and triumphant lives,
they rejoiced even when they were being afflicted and persecuted,
and their fellowship continually grew until it reached the ends
of the earth.

Give thanks in all circumstances.
Give thanks for everything.
Give thanks at all times.

This is a step beyond remembering God and thanking God for all
the wealth that we enjoy in this our promised land.

This is a step beyond remembering God and obeying his commands
because he has given us fine houses and filled our bellies.

This is even a step beyond thanking God,
as the leper thanked God,
for healing him through Jesus of his disease.

This is what Charlene called at recent workshop - "thanks -
living" - and it is demanding - and it is rewarding.

I say it is demanding - because quite frankly when I am feeling
pressed to wall I find it difficult to fulfil the word that says:

"Do not worry about anything, but in everything by
prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your
requests be made known to God."

And when I am feeling struck down by some affliction
or angry at my children for doing something that seems to me to
be thoughtless;
or upset at my dog for his having escaped out the door in the
morning and run off to the school;
I have difficulty feeling grateful to God for the circumstances I
am in.

Instead of wanting to praise God - or to pray to him about the
situation with thanksgiving,
- I want to feel sorry for myself and the trouble I am in -
- I want to yell at the kids for being whatever kids are when
they are thoughtless
- and I want to throttle the dog, because I know darn well
that when Laddie escapes and runs off to school he is not
going to come back home any smarter than he was before.

How about you?
Do you have a faith that is thankful in everything?

It's something to think about
especially it is something to think about when you consider the
power of thanksgiving
and of how not only are we blessed or rewarded for it,
but so is God and all those around us.

Raising foster kids has provided some interesting experiences in
this regard -
many of the kids that have come to us are desperate for some kind
of affirmation and love -
they feel lost and alone and attempt to please us as a way of
securing their place in our midst.

It is beautiful to watch the transformation that comes over their
faces when we thank them for something as simple as clearing the
dishes or when we praise them for something as normal as being
kind to the neighbours' children.

They beam, they radiate, they light up the room - and we
- who may have simply praised them because it is the smart
thing to do, or thanked them because it is the right thing to
do
suddenly feel one hundred percent better than we did before,
better about them,
better about ourselves,
and better about the world in general.

Giving thanks blesses the person who is thanked and it transforms
the person who gives thanks.

It works the same way everywhere, with everyone, even with God --
when we remember..

When we forget - hard things get harder.

When we allow the situation we are in to swallow us up and to
swallow all thought of God's power and goodness up;
When we begin to think we have earned and deserve all the
good things we have,
and when we forget that God is able to help us in the
midst of all the bad things that occur,
well - life becomes bleaker,
and true virtue becomes harder to find.

God wants us to celebrate his love. God wants us to give thanks
in everything.

God doesn't want this because he is greedy for praise,
the Lord doesn't want it so that he will feel better about
himself,
he wants it because it will bless us
and because it will bless the world he has made.

He wants us to remember what He has done
- so that we will not be afraid when we are in need of help,
and so that we will not grow arrogant or rude when we are
prospering
He wants us to remember and give thanks to him, and to those
around us
- so that our lives will be full of light and hope
and so our actions full of tenderness and love.
.
As the psalmist declares - "It is good to give thanks to the
LORD, to sing praises to his name"

Praise be unto God and thanksgiving for his many blessings -
Amen.

copyright - Rev. Richard J. Fairchild 1996 - 2005
please acknowledge the appropriate author if citing these sermons.

What will you do if your'e bored at work?

I am on nights tonight, este, it's now the morning, about 3:45AM pacific time, and I am at work. It's reasonably quiet, and I am getting bored. I could not resist looking at the clock and wish the hands would go faster. I have surfed the net for a while now, and started to daydream..... Nothing really on the web that interests me aside from tips on gardening and farming. Would you believe that I always wanted to be a farmer. I love tilling the soil and growing things. The place we have right now has a little garden and I have, because it's autum time, taken away the plants that are wilting and now starting to put on vegetables that will take the harshness of winter. It won't be long and we will be freezing here again, and that depresses me. My activity in the garden would be limited. Being in the garden rejuvenates me and I could just relax and let out the stress whenever. I seldom watch TV. So don't ask me about anything of news or latest gossip and soaps, I know nothing.

See..... I could tell you so much about what's goin' on my mind right now.... it's gardening, gardening, and gardening.... because I am bored stiff here at work, and wish it's daylight now so I could run home and put out my asparagus which I bought the other day. They're still in pots but I will be building a raised bed for them today so I could transplant them.... yipppeeee. I am looking forward to my day off now. I am pretty sure it would be worthwhile. I hope my Cocoa (my chocolate labrador) would not be so helpful and stop being nosey of what I am doing, otherwise, I probably mostly spend half the time scolding her to stop digging, too... huh, simple life.... simple joys, and simple dreams..... very much achievable and very rewarding.

Some Annoying Things In Life

I ain't gonna rant, and I am not going to make it ponder to me today, but I am a little annoyed with something I just learned today. Someone, whom I am not very pleased with afterall the good things I have done to him, have the heart to slander me. I could not understand why some people are just so thick and proud, that after you have helped them, they would forget about you, and not only that, talked behind you of your flaws. Of course I am no perfect or never even became close to become one, but trust me, I am trying my very best and really hard to be kind and conscientious (that's a long word, I am not even sure of the spelling). So now, that person is trying to come back to me because they (him and his family) need a favor from me???!!!!! Thank you very much!!!!! I am a very kindhearted person, but only to those who know how to be grateful and keep the friendship between us, I maybe far or near. I don't expect people who I have helped to pay me back the same. I understand it if you can not reciprocate, but please if you have seen flaws and mistakes on myself, let me know about it directly if it really bother you, and don't talk to others about it and expect I would not know.

James' 10

It was my son's 10th birthday last Sunday 3rd October 2010, and I am working all day, so to make it up with the whole family, my husband and I planned to dine out after my work. So there we are, had a feast in one of my son's favorite resto. We are all filled to the brim. To be honest, I have been feeling guilty about a few of these things.

1. I am working on my son's birthday... how terrible is that? Well, he didn't mind at all. I am glad! He had his wish to have a new celphone, and there he have it.

2. We meant to have a little pancit and homecooked meals and celebrate at home, but we went out. Filipino tradition is that you have to have something like pancit (kind of chowmein - with long strings of noodles) to have longevity for the celebrant....that's just a belief passed by word of mouth.

3. I have pigged out again. I was trying to eat less due to health reasons. I am not getting any younger, and my metabolism is slowing down, I should really watch out what I am eating at what time of the day it is. Well, we finished eating at about nine p.m. and that time was supposed to be bedtime for me as I would need to wake up early the following day for another 12 hours day shift at the hospital. Can you imagine me going to bed with a really heavy stomach? Well, must tell you, it is not comfortable.

So now, I have a twelve year old teengirl, and a 10 year old boy. When we go out altogether, we're like hmmmmm.... still a young family, but closer to becoming just buddies, soon.... maybe in a couple of years, that's what we will be.

We moved Again!

Since coming to Canada in November 2008, we have moved, not once, not twice, but five times in a span of barely 20 months!!!!! That's a lot of moving, packing, unpacking, changing of address and kid's schools. It's frustrating, but hopefully this time our stay would be a lot longer than the previous ones. With this though, a positive point is we get to add people to our friendslist.

Anyway, our neighborhood this time is great. We had a warm welcome from the neighbors. We received cards and specially baked cakes to make us comfortable. I have never experienced that kind of welcome before, until we move to our current place. It was such a comforting gesture. I am so overwhelmed.

H.U.R.T.

Why does the pain is so much when your loveone hurt you? Is it because they know how to access your heart?
Why do people think they can just tell you hurtful words even if they know it will cause you misery? Don't they think before they say anything?
Why someone could just easily pass on the blame on to anyone, without looking first at what they could do or haven't done?


I've been hurt, I've been miserable, I've been blamed, I've been told off
For what? I do not know. I can only do what I can. If anyone is not satisfied, I could not do more.

Do not compare me to anyone as I am not the same as they are
Do not expect me to become like them for I will never be

I use to tell myself I will someday be one
And I would do whatever it takes,

Only to realize right now,
I have no one but myself

And today, I promised me.... I will let no one HURT me no more!

What I have lost last Year, I gained all back this Year

What a shame. Last year I tried my very best to loose some weight for which I was successful. I trimmed down a bit and was proud of myself. But December time came. We went through some stress and I have to help myself to get over it. And of course, I indulged with food. Today, I weighed myself on the scales, and presto, there it was, bang right to my eye. I am back to my previous weight! Oh well, it's only the start of the year, I have plenty of time to loose again.

Gathering the Pieces Part 2

Finally, I have gathered the strenght to face it all.... the forms filling, passports' applications sent, and spoke to the case personnel about our permanent residency status. Told them that we lost our documents that we used to enter Canada. Well, they are able so helpful, I could not fault them. There will be a bit of delay in processing our status here in Canada, but for me it doesn't matter. Our work permits and study permits of the kids will cover us for another 2 years, and for sure that is plenty of time for us to recover what we have lost. By God's grace, we have never felt this relieved for the last four weeks, thinking of what will happen to us now, what if?????, etc.....

And my job? it's even better. There's a lot of opportunities, financial, educational, morale, and more, but of course, that isn't my top priority right now. My family and I have decided to listen more to ourselves, spend more time to bond, and just enjoy while we live.

Our very first picture of 2010

Here we are, on New Year's day, by the fire of our new place. When I saw this photo (of course, courtesy to my friend who took it) I suddenly felt, "huh, my kids are growing quick!" Jessica is only eleven (di pa siya dalaga) but look at her compared to me or her dad behind her, malapit na kaming abutan, ah. At di rin naman kami kaliitan, myself is just a little bit over 5'4" while Freddie is 5'5" pero sa lagay namin ngayon, mukhang lalagpasan pa kami nitong aming mga chikiting. Hindi ako nagrereklamo. In fact, natutuwa nga ako.

Gathering the Pieces Part 1

Today is nothing special, but I have decided to make it a start. As you may have known already, after the robbery and theft from our house on the second week of December 2009, we have moved to a new place. Together with that, we have to call our utility suppliers for change of address. Next is Christmas and New Year Celebration.

Fourth of January is the kids first 2010 schoolday, but because they have to change school too, I have to enroll them first to this new school, and guess what? because we have no passport, visa, or birth certificates (as all of our documents were also taken by the thieves), it became a little bit tricky. Well, we can do nothing but to tell them as much as we can truthfully and show them the police report. I am just glad we were understood, so the two kids were eventually enrolled and attended school the next day.

We also had an appointment with our bank yesterday to close all our existing accounts and create a whole new profile with our history carried over to a new account. Credit history in Europe and North America is very, very important..... so you probably know what I am talking about. This process will take few days as we need to set up our actual ATM cards, order new set of cheques, forward copies of our new bank information to our payroll system and to companies where we have automatic debit/credit, etc.

So today, as it has been nearly over three weeks of frustration from hoping to get our documents back, or at least get a few, from the police ..... I made a decision to start wiping everything off and start afresh. Today, I am going to send our passport notice of cancellation to the nearest UK consular office, and guess what where it is? Well, it is in Washington state of the US which is just about 5 minutes drive from where we are living, but because we do not have passports at present, we can not cross the border. How inconvenient, isn't it? There is a British High Commission office in Vancouver, but they do not deal with passport, so we're here, stuck!

Anyway, I am hoping the passport issue should be quick, so we could get a new set of work and study visas here in Canada.

To be honest, without our documents right now, we can be anybody, really.... but most likely, Nobody!

It's the 2nd Day of the Year

Yes, it's January 2, 2010..... and of course, although it is a day late, I still want to greet everyone a Blessed Happy & Prosperous New Year.

2009 for us here in Canada is slightly tragic, but I always look at them at the bright side. To start last year, our brand new car had a crash. Luckily, we were all safe. Though we felt that the VW Routan is a good addition to our family upon coming to this new country, it has unfortunately been crashed into by another big car around third week of January 2009. It went under a thorough repair and now it does not show any sign of what it has been through last year.

Then came December 9, 2009. We were broken into while we were all away, myself at work, kids at school, and my husband volunteered to drive my daughter and her friends to their skating trip. The burglars have taken absolutely everything, aside from our clothes, at broad daylight. We were all devastated. Imagine all our identifications, cards, passports, birth/marriage certificates, licences, etc. are all included in what they have taken on top of the gadgets and gizmos they could think of. I suppose some people are just so selfish. Merry Christmas to them. But that didn't put us off. If you remember I have booked a ticket for us all to go to the Grouse Mountain. Well, we did. And although we don't have cameras with us, we enjoyed the day and at least treated ourselves to a much deserved break.

Well, to start this year.... it's nice to announce that we have moved on.... yes, literally! We found a new house, of course with a garage to house the car..... and slowly gathering pieces we've lost. So glad to welcome this year with so much enthusiasm and hope. I believe it will be great for us, and praying it will be to others, too. Have a great year everyone!

Jessica Singing Edelweiss!

Today, Jessica, my daughter, my very own firstborn is singing. She's sung a short song Edelweiss from The Sound of Music. The video quality is poor and you could hear the clicking sound of the SLR camera clicking from the background which is a bit disappointing, but hey, it's done and she's made it. Another one to come this Spring. Will keep you posted.

Malapit na Pasko!

Naku, ako'y nag alala bigla, looking at my countdown to Christmas, 28 days na lang pala, yet eto ako, wala pang napupundar kahit na ano para sa aking mga chikiting para balutin at ilagay sa ilalim ng Christmas Tree. Nakupo, mahirap itong aking kalagayan, full time worker, tapos winter pa dito sa Canada, nakakatamad maglakwatsa o mag shopping. O baka naman kaya ako ang may diperensya. Pasensya na kuripot talaga ako, at di masyado sa mga materyal na bagay.

Actually, personally, I do not grew my kids up to expect gifts from us or from others. I believe that it's not about the things you get, but it's about what you can give. Just like the true sense of Chritmas.... God gave so much, the poor world would have some.

So now I just have this cutest idea, why don't I just treat them a day to the Winter Wonderland Grouse Mountain. Really, I am pretty sure they would have fun, their experience there will be remembered forever. Better than unwrapping a material present, this is actually a memory to keep. I am excited myself about this and has just now booked a ticket for four of us.... yeheyyyy. Then the rest of the holiday seasons we can just do what we can do for others. Isn't that nice?

May Sumpong Na Naman Ako!

Bakit nga ba at masama ang araw ko ngayon. Kagagaling ko lang ng night shift, and I am just about to have five days off. Kagabi, ang ganda ganda ng aking mga binabalak. Sabi ko, matutulog lang ako hanggang tanghali, and then pagigising ako sa aking other half at kami ay magsa-shopping, kumain sa labas kasama ng mga bata pagdating sa hapon.

Well, ginising nya nga ako in a nicest way, pero ang sama ng gising ko. Galit ako sa kanya, at nagkakakaskas ang aking sumpunging mga paa against sa bed sheets, sabay bangon at dabog papuntang banyo. I went to the kitchen and looked for food, may nakalutong beef caldereta at bagong saing na kanin,... but... but I don't fancy any of it. Masama na ang timpla ko, ayuko ko nang lumabas.

Ngayong gabi tuloy, panay ang sisi ko. Nasayang ang araw ko kasama ang mapagpasensyang bed na kinahihigaan ko ngayon.

Tumatanda na ako.

myself and my friends busy tidying up in the kitchen

Nag birthday nga pala ako nung isang araw. Nadagdagan na naman ng isang taon ang aking edad, pero I feel that I care less now. Di na ako masyadong apektado sa mga sinasabi ng mga tao. Who cares, di naman nila ako pinalalamon eh.

Dati, I want to make sure that I bring in something to impress people. I wanted to create an image.... pero ngayon wala akong pakialam kung ako ay tanggap o hindi. Di naman ako isnabera, pero I take lesser effort now to get attention. Feeling ko, I would rather just as I am, no pressure.

Dati, kapag naghahanda ako, gusto ko sinusupervise lahat ng detalye ng handaan, pero ngayon, it's not my priority anymore. Ewan ko, basta ngayon.... I am more confident that I have made my mark. I do not have to please anyone. I just don't! It's not like that I am already somewhere, but I guess TUMATANDA lang talaga ako, kaya anong paki ko, di ba? Ngayon iniisip ko: saan kaya ako pupulutin in ten years time?

Nag-uulyanin na kaya ako?

Hindi nakakatuwa ang pagiging makakalimutin. Katulad today, akala ko ay may pasok ako ng Tuesday night, kaya ngayon Monday, I thought I would treat myself to some shopping, going around the the city centre, while the kids are at school. All the while I thought I am off, and not working at all. Hala, sige, pinagod ko ang aking mga paa, at binusog ang aking mga mata sa kung anu-ano lang na makita at maibigan. Di bale, sabi ko sa aking sarili, paminsan-minsan lang ito.

So pagdating nga hapon, kinailangan ko nang umuwi kasi labasan na ng mga tsikiting ko, at marami pa silang aktibidades after. Si Jessica may voice lessons at five PM followed by piano, while James, meron ding Violin lessons. Si Mister, as usual driving us all around, pero kahit papano, kailangan nya rin ng day off 'no, or so I thought nga kasi alam ko day off ko.

Four o'clock pm strike, bigla ko na lang binuklat ang aking diary a.k.a journal a.k.a planner, and wahhhhla! Work pala ako tonight - twelve hour shift from seven pm to seven am. Hindi ako pwede absent, pero talagang pagod ako. Kaya sabi ko kay Mister, pwede bang pahinga lang ako sandali, kahit kaunting idlip lang hanggang alas singko y medya. Pero na, wala rin efek. Di rin ako nakatulog kasi, hyperactive pa ang brain ko, kaya eto ako ngayon, nasa trabaho, physically exhausted. Sa susunod, talagang uugaliin ko nang tingnan muna ang aking pulang organizer first thing in the morning. (How many times did I tell myself that already,..... not only a hundred times. Nag-uulyanin na kaya ako?)

Mga Taong Magaling sa Pulitika..... Mga walang Kwenta

Malayo ako sa Pilipinas, pero dahil sa technology, nalalalaman ko ang mga pangyayari dyan sa mahal kong bayan. Recently, naintriga ako sa pinalabas na katotohanan ng aking mahal at hinahangaang blogger na si Ella tungkol sa hoarding ng goods ng DSWD. Napamura ako sa galit pero alam ko wala akong magagawa. Magagaling ang mga pulitiko natin.... madali nilang magagawan ng paraan upang mapagtakpan ang kanilang mga baho. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, ilang araw lang silyado na ang butas na yan, 'Pinas pa!

Dati rin akong dugong 'aktibista' (pero never akong naging isa). Kumukulo ang dugo ko kapag may nakikita akong kabulastugan na nangyayari sa ating gobyerno to the extent na nagsa-suffer ang ating mga kababayan. Mabuti na lang masunurin akong anak at nakinig ako sa payo ng aking mga magulang. Huwag daw akong makisawsaw sa dumi ng Philippine government, kasi babaliktarin ka lang nyan, bandang huli ikaw pa ang masama. Totoo nga.

At this time, nasusuka ako sa pamamalakad ng ating gobyerno. Napakamakakapal ang mga mukha ng mga taong nakaupo, mga walang kwentang linta! If I could only do such a thing, wala akong nanaisin kundi balatan silang lahat, budburan ng asin at isawsaw sa suka ang mga yan.

It's Fall here, and it's Bloomin' cold, & Shivery

Well, autumn na naman dito sa BC Canada, and yes, it's darn bloomin' cold. Nagkasakit na nga ako, eh. and guess what? siyempre, trangkaso! Di ko alam kung H1N1 o hindi, and I would not really want to know. All I could confirm is, I am better now, and thank God, di naman ako naging malala. After hearing and watching the news about itong latest trend ng H1N1, mataas ang tension sa healthcare industry, lalo pa't ngayong malamig at makulimlim ang panahon....Sa nature ng trabaho ko, sa ICU, meron na akong nakitang swine flu case sa isang katulad ko and age group at nanay din siya, and it doesn't look good. Naiisip ko lang ang kanyang pamilya and ang uncertainty of everday..... I would not like to subject my family to that kind of turmoil. Kaya, honestly.... I will do my best to keep myself and my family healthy and safe. Mahirap magkasakit, lalo na kung maraming umaasa sa iyo, di ba?

Tuliro,.... Ang utak ko ay nandito, ang Puso naman ay Naiwan!

Hanggang ngayon, apektado pa rin ako ng previous post ko. Pasensiya na talaga at nagalit ako ng husto. Di ako humihingi ng pasensiya kay Mang Mike pero dun sa mga bumabasa ng aking blog. Nakita nyo kung paano ako magalit. In fact, until now, I am still in rage with the thought that someone out there, kapwa ko Pilipino, ang siyang magku-question ng ating integrity bilang mga OFW. How dare he.

Anyway, today, as I was from a night shift, I came home thinking why we remained away from the Philippines after finishing my first contract of two years? Why did I not come home and settled back after? Bakit nga ba? At nagbalik ang aking diwa sa nakaraan. May matching pang paiyak-iyak, tulo luha ko sa aking unan hanggang sa di ko namalayan, nakatulog na pala ako, nalaman ko na lang nang ako ay nagising sa sobrang init dito ngayong summer, umabot ang temperatura sa almost 37 degrees centigrade..... In short, natusta ako, kaya pagdating ng tanghali, gising na ulit ako at di na makabalik sa pagtulog. Ngayong gabi ( ay madaling araw na pala) nasa trabaho na naman ako.

So, bakit nga ba nanatili kami abrud? Well, at first, I have a contract for two years. In those years, ang kinikita ko, sapat lang na bayaran ang aming nautang para ako makaalis, kaunting treat para sa mga anak ko, at kapamilya, then mga ilang pampaospital blues ng mga kamag-anak. Really, yung unang dalawang taon, tama lang. Di namin natupad ang aming pangarap na magkaroon ng apartmen para paupahan kumbaga upang kapag ako ay umuwi, dagdag sanang kita, di ba? So nag re-new ako ng contract over and over and over again, as in hanggang ngayon, nandirito pa rin kami. Okey naman at after a year ko noon, nakuha ko kaagad ang aking asawa't dalawang anak, kaya sama-sama na kami dito, nabawas-bawasan ang aking pangungulila at homesickness.

Sa ngayon, tanging mga magulang at mga kapatid na lang namin ng aking asawa ang aming sinusuportahan sa Pilipinas. Walang sawa kaming nagpapadala ng sustento upang makatulong sa kanila, makapag-aral ang ilan sa kanila, magkaroon ng kahit kaunting kabuhayan ang iba. Walang katapusang listahan ng hingi ng tulong dito, kunyari pautang (nang walang bayaran!) ng puhunan, etc... etc. Alam naming sa aming kinikita, mas malaki pa ang napupunta sa kanila kaysa sa ginagastos namin para sa aming mga sarili.

Kung minsan, naiisip ko.... ganito ba talaga dapat kabigat ang aking responsibilidad? Ganito ang buhay OFW. Takbuhan ka, sumbungan, at inaasahang tagapaglutas ng gusot sa mga mahal mo. Paano kaya kung di kami nakapag-abrud? Paano kaya kung walang naging OFW? Ano kaya ang kalagayan ng bawat pamilyang Pilipino (na sa ngayon ay may OFW) kung hindi nagkaroon ng opurtunidad na ganito?

Ang masaklap, bakit ba sa ganda ng ibang bansa na kinaroroonan namin ngayon, sampu ng mga bagay na pwede nitong ibigay sa amin.... Pilipinas pa rin ang pinakaasam-asam naming uwian. Kung pwede nga lang i-fast forward ang mga sandali, e.... gagawin na namin upang mapabilis ang aming inaasahang pag-uwi paminsan-minsan.

Aking narinig ang awiting "Bayan ko", at lalong nag-umigting ang aking pagkasabik upang umuwi. Naturingang kami ay mas asenso at kinabukasa'y sigurado dito sa abrud, pero ang aming puso ay naiwan diyan sa Pinas. Ang aming isip ay nandirito, praktikal na nakikipagbaka sa araw-araw na trabaho, ngunit ang aming pag-ibig ay naiwan diyan sa Perlas ng Silangan, kaya ang resulta nito..... kami ay tuliro.

Bakit, anong gayuma meron ang Pilipinas at di ka kayang limutin? Anong meron ka na wala rito sa ibang bansa? Nasasaktan ako kapag napapabalitang nahihirapan ka. Nagpupuyos ako sa galit kapag nalaman kong kinurakot ka na naman. Apektado akong husto kapag nagugulo ka. Nanlulumo ako kapag ikaw ay napapahiya.

Galit ako sa "Tsokolate" ni Mike Avenue!!!!!!

Minsan, sa aking paglalakbay sa space ng mga kapwa blogger, may nabasa akong karumaldumal na artikulong "Tsokolate" ni Mike Avenue. Kumulo ang aking dugo, nagpagting ang aking tenga, at nag-ala darna ako sa aking reaksyon. Di pa ako nakuntento, eto at meron din akong sariling sagot sa kumag na Mike na ito. Basahin nyo mga tagasubaybay hanggang the end, and you shall know me when I get angry.
(Nandirito sa link na ito ang Full Article niya: Tsokolate)
Mike Avenue: "Itinatanong ko kung bakit naging bayani ang isang OFW. Hindi agad siya makasagot. Ngumiti siya at iniabot ang mga tsokolateng may tatak na “Made in China” sa likod ng pakete. Ang mga tsokolateng ito sa kamay ko ang isa sa mga sagisag na siya’y kagagaling lamang sa ibang bansa – sa Canada."

Malejandria: Ano ba problema mo Mamang Mike Avenue sa mga OFW, at sagaran ang pagdaramdam mo sa amin, ha? Di ko kayang tatasin ang iyong mga prinsipyo nang isinulat mo ang artkulong ito. Sa totoo lang, matagal na rin akong OFW, pero kahit kaylan, sa sarili ko man at sa mga nakakasalamuha kong kapwa OFW, wala kaming inisip kundi ang kapakanan ng mga naiwan namin diyan sa Pilipinas. Ano ang masama kung magpasalubong kami ng Made in China?
Nasa Canada ako ngayon, pero tinatangkilik naming ang mga produktong Pinoy. Noong ako ay nasa Englatera, ang aking asawa ay nagtitinda ng mga Produktong Pinoy. Kaming mga Pilipino doon ay natutuwa kapag kami ay nakakakain ng pagkaing Pinoy. Taglay nito ang ebidensiya na di na magbabago ang pagkaPilipino namin, saan sulok man ng mundo. Ngayon, napakatanga naman namin kung kami ay umuuwi, ang pasalubong pa rin naming ay Made in the Philippines. Ngayon, kung sinasabi mo na made in Canada rin ang dapat ang tatanggapin mo kung galing sa Canada ang nagpapasalubong sa iyo, well, perhaps it just shows how valued you are by that person. Para sa akin, siguro di sing importante ikaw para sa kanya kaya yan lang ang feel nyang ibigay sa iyo. Di mo ba naisip yun? Buti nga nabigyan ka pa. Sana nagpasalamat ka na lang. Well kung ikaw sana ang nagpakahirap para sa taong iyon para marating nya ang kanyang kinaroroonan ngayon, may dahilan ka para magputok ng butse, pero dapat dun lang sa specific na tao na iyon. Huwag mong lahatin kami.

Mike Avenue: "Naubos ang mga propesyonal dito. Halos lahat. Ang mga doctor na nagsunog ng kilay ng mahigit sampung taon, mas pinili ang maging nurse na assistant lamang ang ranggo sa abroad. Ang mga nurse naman na dapat ay dito magsisilbi sa bansa, mas ginusto pang mangibang bayan. Ang epekto nito? Bumaba ang antas ng industriya. Nagkasya kasi tayo sa mga second choice dahil ang mga de-kalibre, naroon at kasalukuyang minumura ng amo kapalit ng dolyar. Bayani ka bang tatawagin kung humahalik ka naman sa paa ng mga dayuhan? Labag yata iyan sa prinsipyo ni Rizal. Baka bumangon si Rizal."

Malejandria: Punyeta ka Mike Avenue! Hindi mo alam ang pinagsasabi mo!!!!! Ayan, naranasan mo ring murahin. Dapat lang, kasi, ang mga taong minumura ay yung mga tange na katulad mo. Ako ay isang nurse, at kahit kaylan, hindi ako namura sa England man o sa Canada. Dito kasi, we are valued as part of the multidisciplinary team, we are not just mere assistants, di katulad sa kapiranggot mong pag-unawa. At kung may problema man, dinadaan sa maayos na paraan. Sa tingin mo ba yun ang nangyayari? Baka haka-haka mo lang yan. Di ako kumakampi sa mga dayuhan, pero Mamang Mike, sa mundo naming nasa healthcare industry, pantay ang tingin nila sa amin katulad ng sarili nila. Inuutusan din namin ang aming mga subordinates, puti man o ibang kulay.
Kung ang ikinasasama mo ay ang bigla naming paglisan ng bansa. May magagawa ka ba o ang gobyerno natin sa sistema ng poverty diyan, ha? Bago kami nag-abroad, dumaan kami sa butas ng karayom para makapag-aral. Ang perang pinangtwisyon ay iginapang ng aming mga magulang, may nakuha ba kaming kahit kaunting support sa gobyerno, wala, unless super talino ka at scholar ka, pwede pa, paano naman ang katulad kong average lang? Pagkatapos namin,.... may trabaho bang mapapasukan? Wala, absolutely none! Unless mag volunteer ka na, magbabayad ka pa. Inutil ang sistemang iyan, pang-aabuso, kahit saang anggulo kong tingnan, kagaguhan ang nakikita ko, pero dahil desperado na at nagbabakasakali na ma-absorb, sige pa rin kami. Dito sa ibang bansa, ang mga nursing students, may bursary na habang nag-aaral, kapag nadu-duty naman, may sahod na sila. Ngayon, kahit na sino sigurong tanga, di magdadalawang isip na lumagay sa mas maayos na sistema di ba? Unless, you and the ones like you are the most stupid of all stupids, then that is all your problem.
At yung mga sinasabi mo second choice na nagpaiwan dyan, hwag mo silang matatawag na second choice, dahil ang mga iyan ay naghihintay lang din ng pagkakataon. Mas nanaisin nilang magpakahirap at tiisin ang sinasabi mong mura kapalit ng dolyar, kaysa alagaan ang isang katulad mong utak talangka. Yung mga nagdisisyon na diyan na talaga manilbihan ay hindi dahilan na nagpapakahunghang sila, may mga malalalim na rason ang mga iyan kung bakit nanatili sila diyan.

Mike Avenue: "Minumura ng mga amo kapalit ng dolyar?"

Malejandria: At least dolyar ang kapalit. Kaysa naman diyan ako magpapamura sa Pilipinas! Do the maths. Diyan sa atin, ang turing sa mga nurse na katulad ko, assistant lang ng Doktor, katulad lang din ng pagkakasabi mo, pero ang sahod ko, kulang pa pambayad sa kuryente lang, paano naman ang kinabukasan ng mga anak ko? Ikaw, wala ka bang pangarap umangat ang estado? In fact, ang mga pinagsasabi mong dapat e nandyan kami sa Pinas para manilbihan bilang mamamayan, underweights our personal need. Di kami gahaman, nais lang naming magkaroon ng maayos na kinabukasan. Kapag diyan sa Pinas, either celebrity ka o politician lang ang may karapatan ng siguradong kinabukasan. Paano naman ako na average lang ang mukha, di marunong pomostora, at wala gaanong kakilala sa sosyodad?

Mike Avenue: Sayang ang mga talento na dapat sana’y sariling lupa ang nakikinabanag. Sayang ang mga pawis na sana’y didilig sa uhaw na mga kapatagan ng mamamayan. Sayang ang mga ugat na magdudugtong sana sa yaman at kaban ng bansa.

Malejandria: Alin sayang ang pinagsasabi mo? Well, kung katulad ng pag-iisip mo ang sinasabi mong talento, I wouldn’t care at all. The likes of you are dumb, you don’t matter so much. Unless you could prove to me or any of the OFW how much you have helped our economy compared to how much we generate towards Philippine economy, then I shall change my argument, until then, your discourse is not valid and wholly selfish. Masama siguro ang loob mo at napag-iwanan ka riyan.
Hindi mo ba napapansin, kung sino pa yung inaalispusta mong OFW, siya pa yung karamihang nag-iinvest dyan sa Pinas? Ano ang tawag mo doon, kahunghangan? Masama ba na maging global at worldwide ang Filipino talent? Bakit yung mayayamang bansa, kapag may talent sila, kailangan nila itong suportahan para maipaalam sa ibang bansa? Hindi ba ganun din dapat ang konsepto nating mga Pilipino. Sa totoo lang Mamang Mike, wala ka lang kasing bilib sa kapwa mo, o baka naman insecure ka lang!

Mike Avenue: Ikakatwiran na walang pag-asa dito. Mahirap ang buhay dito. O talagang mahilig lang ang iba sa “piso tamang barko”. Meron din naman dito. Kaya lang, ang mga bagay na narito, ayaw naman natin. Para lang din sinabing “walang akong magawa”. Marami ka naman pwedeng gawin. Kaya lang, itong mga bagay na available na gagawin mo, ayaw mong gawin, tinatamad kang gawin o may iba kang gustong gawin.

Malejandria: O c’mon, be realistic Mamang Mike. Huwag mong ipagpilitan ang pinagsasabi mo. Ilang nurse ang qualified dyan sa atin? May trabaho ba sila o gumagawa ba ang gobyerno ng paraan para makapagtrabaho sila? O kahit yung private companies, gumagawa ba ng mga hakbang for retention, di ba wala?! Wala Mamang KALYE! Ano sa tingin mo ang dapat gawin ng mga qualified but not employed Filipino people, tumambay, maging pabigat, at tuluyan ng mawalan ng self esteem.

Mike Avenue: Isa lang dahilan kung bakit nagpapaalipin sa ibang lahi ang mga Pinoy. PERA. Masasabi kong iyan ang nag-iisang dahilan. Kaya nga mas gusto pang gawing panginoon ang mga dayuhan para sa salapi. Hindi dahil sa kung ano pa man at sino pa man. Ang ibang dahilang maiisip mo, bagamat nasa estado ng pagsasakripisyo at pagpapakahirap, babagsak at babagsak din sa kategoryang pera ang dahilan.

Malejandria: Kanina, chocolate Made in China ang kinasasama mo, ngayon Pera naman. Ano ba talaga? Again, what is wrong, I shall say with money? It’s a money well spent naman. Napapakinabangan at nagagamit ng husto. Kesa tumambay at magutom ako diyan sa Pinas, mainam nga itong naisip kong solusyon. Ikaw, may naisip ka bang magic para mawala ang poverty sa Pinas, o para maibsan ang kahit kaunti ang utang ng mahal nating bansa?

Mike Avenue: "Hindi sila magpapaalipin sa ibang lahi dahil sa Pilipinas. Tinanggihan nga nila ang Pilipinas. Nawalan sila ng pag-asa sa Pilipinas."

Malejandria: Kung kami tumanggi sa Pilipinas, sa tingin mo ba, babalik pa kami riyan? O kaya ay magpapadala pa kami riyan ng aming mga pinaghirapang dolyares? WTF are you talking about?! Naiinggit ka lang! Bakit ang tingin mo sa amin ay alipin. O siya sige, pagbibigyan kita diyan sa anggulo na yan. At least, ibang lahi. Eh kung ako kaya ang naiwan diyan sa Pinas, sino aalipin sa akin? Pilipino din diba? Di ba’t mas masakit yun? Kulang na nga ang sahod, di pa sigurado ang kinabukasan ko.

Mike Avenue: "Ang dahilan ng pagtatrabaho ng isang OFW ay upang maiangat ang kabuhayan ng pamilya at sarili. "


Malejandria: Now we’re in the same page.

Mike Avenue: Hindi dahil gustong maiambag ang sakripisyo sa bansa. Hindi upang magpakabayani. Walang ganoon. Dahil kung ganoon, pwede namang makatulong nang hindi umaalis. Ang totoo, lahat ay sa sariling motibo lamang nabubuhay. Gustong-gusto kasing maging Victoria’s Secret ang ginagamit na pabango ng asawa na dati’y White Flower lamang?

Malejandria: Personally, di ako gumagamit ng Victoria’s Secret. That is my choice. I use whatever is in the regular supermarkets. Pero, kahit na siguro ako gumamit ng may mga kalidad na produkto, anong sama nun? Ikaw, if given the choice, would you not opt for a better quality products? Hindi ko sinasabi na walang kalidad ang Philippine products, but living abroad, for goodness sake, getting a Philippine product often cost more than the locally made ones. Ngayon kung sa mga pasalubong o padala naman ang sinasabi mo, I have answered it before. It is so stupid to send things that my loveones could easily get there locally. Ikaw kapag nagreregalo ka ba, yung mga bagay lang din na meron na sila? Hunghang ka! Hirit pa.,,, Meron tayong kasabihan, tulungan mo muna ang iyong sarili, bago ang kapwa mo. Ngayon, kung ang pag-asa ko ay ang pag- aabrud, meron bang masama dun. Ang isyu mo lang naman Mamang Mike e mukhang inggit lang sa katawan yan. Noong ako ay bata, napakarami nyan sa paligid namin, mga tsismosa't tsismoso, inggitera't inggitero. Mga baluktot ang pag-iisip at masyadong mayabang kung magsalita, akala mo hawak na nila ang kanilang distinasyon, parang ikaw! Nasan na sila ngayon? Hayon, at nanduroon pa rin, tumanda na't lahat-lahat, they never experience or just even see a new perspective and a much broader horizon. If I were you, have another thought. Travelling can definitely expound your being. Ako, mahilig akong mamasyal, e, kaya lang kailangan ko munang kumita para magawa ito. Noong ako nandyan sa Pinas, sa pinagsamang sahod namin ng aking asawa, ni hindi namin kayang mag holiday, kahit anong budget namin.

Mike Avenue: At, marupok din ang lubid sa kabila. Ipinapanalangin kasi ng isang OFW na tumaas nang tumaas nang tumaas ang halaga ng dolyar laban sa piso. Para nga naman mas maraming salapi ang katumbas ng kanilang pagpapaalipin. Gustong-gusto nila na mataas ang palitan ng dolyar. Kapag mataas ang palitan ng dolyar sa piso, ibig sabihin mas maraming pera ang maibibigay kay Misis. Mas maraming pera, mas maraming pambili ng Victoria’s Secret. Ang problema, kapag mataas ang halaga ng dolyar, mababa ang halaga ng piso. At kapag mababa ang halaga ng piso, ang ibig sabihin, mababa rin ang ekonomiya ng bansa. At kapag mababa ang ekonomiya ng bansa, mataas ang mga pangunahing bilihin at siyempre pang apektado ang mga karaniwang manggagawa na sumusuweldo ng mababa dito sa Pilipinas.

Malejandria: Diretsahang sasagutin kita Mamang Kalye, wala sa aming mga OFW ang dahilan ng pagtaas o pagbaba ng piso. Swerte at pasalamat kami kapag mataas ang palitan, pero ke mababa o mataas ang exchange rate, papadala pa rin kami para sa mga pangangailangan ng aming mahal sa buhay, which also has got an impact on helping the Philippine economy, because for every cent we send, that’s an added cent for the Philippines to buy its commodities and/or pay off its debt. Are you with me?

Mike Avenue: Di bale, marami naman tayong bayani.

Malejandria: Isa na ako dun, inggit ka? Baka gusto mo na ring makiisa, hali ka na.

Mike Avenue: Kapag umalis ang isang Pinoy papunta sa abroad, maiiwan nila ang kanilang pamilya. Sakripisyo ito sa OFW. Pero mas sakripisyo ito sa pamilya. Kung babae at may asawa’t anak, siguradong ibang tao ang titingin sa mga anak. Lumalaki tuloy sa pangangalaga ng iba na ang itinuturo ay ang matatas na pagsasabi ng salitang pakyu imbes na patsshu. Kung lalaki naman, ibang tao pa ang magpapalit ng pundidong ilaw sa kusina imbes na siya. Nasasakripisyo ang “minsan-lang-sa-buhay-na-maging-bata” ng maraming kabataan. Maraming anak ang nawalan ng pagkakataong maramdaman ang kalinga ng isang ama o ina sa kanilang kamusmusan. At karaniwang hindi nasusubaybayan ang paglaki ng bata. Ipababantay na lamang ang paglaki sa malalaking Barbie Dolls o Robot na ipinapadala ng OFW. Okay lang. Pag-uwi mo at paglaki ng anak mo, saka mo siya samahan para magpatuli kay Dok. Nakakalungkot din ang katotohanan na ang mga OFW ang dahilan kung bakit nabansagan ni Tsip Tsao ang Pilipinas na “nation of servants”.

Malejandria: Iba ako sa bagay na iyan. Kasama ko ang aking pamilya dito. Pero sabihin nating naiwan ko ang aking mga mahal sa buhay sa Pinas. Karamihan sa aming mga OFW, kundi man lahat, sa araw at gabi na pagtatrabaho namin dito sa abroad, lagi naming iniisip na para ito sa kanilang mga naiwan namin. Kung may mga bagay kaming nakikita na sa tingin namin ay bagay sa kanila, pagsisikapan naming makuha at maipadala iyon. Wala kaming ninais kundi maranasan din nila kahit sa papaanong paraan ang mga bagay na nandirito. Wala kasi nyan sa Pinas, pero tiyak ko magugustuhan iyan ni ganito, ni ganyan. Ano at alin ang masama dun sa ugaling iyon?
Oo, napalayo nga kami sa kanila, pero ang aming hangad ay mapaganda ang buhay nila. Kung napasama ang kanilang kinahantungan, di namin ninais iyon. Dala iyon ng kanilang baluktot na pag-uugali, katulad mo, Mamang Kalye. Huwag niyong isisi sa aming mga OFW yung mga ilang mahal sa buhay na napariwara, dahil daw sa sobrang spoiled mula sa amin. Karamihan naman na mga mahal sa buhay na naiwanan, lalo na yung mga marunong magbigay ng importansya sa mga pagsasakripisyo naming mga OFW, ay siya ring mga taong nagiging asenso sa buhay nila, for which we are proud of. Nasa sa family mechanism lang yan. Especially at our age of technology right now, communication has always a way to keep in touch. Now, if you're worried about the "nation of servants" ni Tsip Tsao, WTH is he????? Why be affected? Para sa akin, kung alin ang nakakaluwag at nakakaangat ng estado ko, there I am, I don't care who says what. As long as I don't steal, I don't rob, and I am feeding my family from a decent source, I shall be forever happy. E, ano ngayon kung tsimay ako, bakit, nakakahiya ba? Mas lalo yatang nakakahiya na sa laki ng katawan mo, dahil sa ayaw mong magpaalipin sa dayuhan, e pinili mong maging pabigat pa sa bansa mo.

Mike Avenue: Kung walang apoy, siguradong walang usok. At tanggap ko. Kung walang magpapaalipin, tiyak na walang tatawaging alipin. Hindi mo BA matanggap na tawaging ganoon? Kung domestic helper ka at gusto mong tawagin kang manager, pumunta ka sa Philippine Embassy at maghuramentado ka doon. Kung mas gusto mo naman na tawagin kang bayani alang-alang sa sakripisyo mo sa sarili mo at sa pamilya mo, pumunta ka sa monumento sa Caloocan at tabihan mo si Bonifacio. Pasulubungan mo na rin siya ng tsokolate. Yung galing sa Canada at kagaya nitong may tatak na Made in China!

Malejandria: You’re such an ungrateful soul Mr. Avenue. You have the most crook ideas in life. You talk so much, but you don’t make sense. Your thoughts are of idiots and foolish. In fact, it all started with a chocolate. Whether it is local or imported, you should just say thanks, and even if you didn’t like it, out of good manners, take it and be polite, hindi yung kung saan-saan na naglakbay ang maitim mong diwa, utak talangka!

Ohhh, my shoulders and legs hurt.... They're killing me!

Parusa talaga itong aking mission, ang sasakit ng aking mga braso, balikat, likod, paa at binti. Two days into my "healthy lifestyle" routine, huh, gusto ko nang sumuko. Eh ano nga ba itong aking mga pinaggagawa? Well, nung nakita ko ang aking mga pictures whilst swimming at Cultus Lake, hiyang-hiya ako sa aking sarili. Feeling ko pa naman okey lang ako, not that I thought I have a body to display, but at least the regular woman who could wear swimwear and be comfortable with my body. I thought I was. I enjoyed that day, not being conscious until I saw the pics that my husband took. Napahiya ako, and kind'of parang ayaw ko nang humarap sa salamin. Ang lalaki ng aking mga bilbil, three tier pa na parang salbabida around my waste. My upper arms are humungos (more than huge, take note). Ang aking hips, very much out of proportion, and guess what, I really felt bad, depressed, at gusto ko nang mag hibernate, magmukmuk until the winter is over just like the bears do..... Pero paano????? it is summertime here, and the sunshine is just so inviting. Meron akong mga anak na very active, may asawang mahilig mag-basketball, at trabahong full time. Di ako pwedeng sumurender na lang ng ganun-ganon kadali, I have to DO SOMETHING!



So, first things first. Identify the problem: I am overweight according to my BMI (Body Mass Index). According to my height and weight, my BMI is 29. Normal is 18.5 to 24.9, so I am way way away from the maximum allowed. Mabigat na katotohanan di ba? Well, hindi ako beauty conscious or obsessed, but this just tell me that I am certainly not healthy, paano naman ang aking kinabukasan. Ayaw kong matigok ng maaga 'no, or grow old naman pero full of suffering katulad na lang ng stroke, heart attack, diabetes, etc. Naiimagine ko lang na mag-aasawang muli ang aking Mister, mas bata, mas seksi at mas magaling kaysa sa akin nang pinag-papasasaan ang aking life and critical illness insurance money, aba, di ako mag-aatubiling bumangon sa aking kinahihimlayan at bulabugin sila. Feel ko pa talagang mambwisit kapag ka ganun ang sitwasyon, ahehehehe! (Aba, san na napunta itong aking pinagsasabi?.......Natatawa ako ngayon sa aking imahinasyon. Just imagine, kalagitna-an ng intimate moments nila, bigla akong lilitaw with the scent typical of the..... dead, you know, ano kayang maging reaksiyon ng malditang sumalo (kung di umagaw) ng aking kabiyak, hahahahahaha!!!!) Ansama ng ugali ko ano? Samantala, sa totoo lang sabi ko sa aking Mister, kapag kami tumanda na at kapag siya ay naging baldado, di ako magdadalawang isip na alagaan siya, no question. Pero kapag ako naman ang naging pabigat, I told him that he could just ditch me anywhere, di sasama ang aking loob. Afterall, I could not imagine myself living useless and become a liability to my family or loveones. Ang sabi nya, hwag daw ako mag-isip ng ganun, timang! Well, you can carry on with the story, with feeling drama pa. Yun eh, habang matino pa ang pag-iisip namin, e paano naman kung pareho kaming may dementia? Naku, nabulilyaso na!

Teka, ang layo na ng hilakbay ng diwa ko, a? So na-identify ko na ang aking problem. Ang taba-taba-taba ko na. So Grasya, mag-isip isip ng solution. Easy! loose weight. Yeah you wish. I hope things are as easy to do as when you say them. Paano? Well, dahil kuripot ako at ayaw kong magbayad ng monthly fee sa gym ( kasi naman before, I paid for my membership to Fitness World, went once or twice, then that's it, di na ako bumalik dahil sa katamaran ko) kasi alam kong magsasayang lang ako ng pera. Pagdating naman sa mga diet, diet such as food delivery specific to your needs, nah, di ko type. Gusto ko pa ring kumain sabay ang aking pamilya, meaning, gusto ko pa rin kumain ng usual Filipino/asian type of food, no doubt about it. So the clever me (or so I thought) went online, and looked at options to loose weight for free and under my control. I have come across Calorie Count. I have to log on the food I take each time, and it will count all my calorie intake, as well as the activities that I have done, and it will count my burnt calorie. Great, I think I could do that easily. No coach to tell me off, no pressure from others but myself. So I log on my weight, and set my goal. At first I set it to my ideal weight, but with my set time, the program declined me straight away because I am doing it too fast, and I may become unhealthy. It recommends to loose weight half to two pounds each week. So I eased up a little bit and thought to just get rid of twenty pounds total until my birthday. Accepted! Then it recommended me my set calories that I can take each day, and how much calorie should I burn. Easy! The eating part is easy. I am that desperate so I take it religiously. Tinatasahan ko na ang aking sarili ngayon. Ngayon ko lang nalaman na ang isang tasang kanin (white rice) pala ay over 200 kcal. I am allowed up to 1400kcal and should loose 1900 kcals per day. So thinking about it, three tasas in total for three meals is already 600 kcals, almost half ng allowance ko, ouch! no room for enjoyment. But the good thing is everytime I log in my activity, such as walking for 2-3 minutes, the program gives me more allowance, which is great! Kasi, the idea behind is, apparently with my kind of lifestyle, ako daw ay nagbu-burn ng 960kcals per day without doing extra exercises, but obviously of my recommended intake, I still store more, kaya ako tumataba. The trick is loose more than you take. Hala, siya, sige, simple activities such as cycling, walking, doing home chores, climbing up the stairs, at kahit na yung ordinaryong gawain ng mag-asawa, have their specific calorie burn meter (or I call it score). So everyday, I am excited to check how I was doing. Para akong nakikipag contest, which is very good for me. Ako kasi ang taong mahilig sa challenge. Kaya eto, nagda-jumping rope na ako everyday, instead na magdrive, I decided to take the bus, at huwag ka, di ako naghihintay sa bus stop if I have time, naglalakad ako to the next two to three bus stops to get to my bus. Nag hahagdanan na lang din ako instead of the elevator. Ang baon ko several but small portions, etc. So far, I am enjoying it. I have more energy and my mood is always positive. The bad thing is, my body ached so much. But so far, I am only into my first week and as I read on the site, this aching will eventually disappear.... I hope, as really, this is agony. My legs are killing me, my shoulders hurt badly!

Dahil Summer Na, Magdusa Ka Grasya!

Excited ang inyong blogger na lumabas-labas ngayong summer. Maganda kasi ang panahon at inaakit akong maglakwatsa, maglamyerda, and makiusyuso sa iba't ibang bahagi nitong British Columbia. But to make things clear, I am a kind of person na medyo walang pakialam at mahilig sa mga lugar na tahimik, natural, and scenic. Bihira nyo akong makitang nagsa-shopping. I do not like crowds to start with, but I do shop big time, such as cars, houses, farms, etc.... but little things such as clothes, bags, shoes, nah!....not my cup of tea.

Anyway, before I get lost from my topic, eto na ako. Well, nung nakaraang linggo, day off ako mula Lunes hanggang Biyernes. Off school ang dalawang chikiting, at free din si Mister. Wala naman kaming planong maglakbay ng malayo, kaya dito lang kami sa City of Surrey, BC. Sa dinami-dami ng mapapasyalan dito, kulang ang limang araw mo. Anyway, for the first couple of days, sleep ako hanggang 10 AM, as in beauty sleep ang trip ko...., pagdating ng tanghali, nakaligo na ako't nakapag-isip ng kung anong uulamin sa lunch at planned na rin kung ano para sa dinner. Medyo magarbo ang mga luto ko, walang short cut, at di kailangan ang mga mixes and sacheted (meron bang term na ganito? past tense ng sachet) sauces. Everything from scratch talaga. Bongga ang result, pwede na akong magtayo ng restawran.

Mga sumunod na araw, di na pagluluto ang trip ko, gusto ko ng lumabas. Una sa park lang, pagdating ng Miyerkules at Hwebes, Beach ang sugod naming magpamilya. Feeling ko turista ako, may folding chair by the beach, basket of sandwiches and drinks beside, and of course flip-flops (ordinaryong tsinelas i.e. Spartan or any kind of rubber slippers) para i-show off ang aking sexy feet (after years of just wearing shoes all the time, and not getting enough sun, namutla ang aking mga binti at paa.... di ba, sa ating mga Pinay, kapag medyo maputi ka, maari na ring sabihin na maganda ka, o sexy ka... whichever!)

Ansarap ng pakiramdam itapak ang aking "sexy" feet sa malapulbos na buhangin (yun nga lang gray, di white sand). Sabi ko pa nga kay Mister, parang nagpo-foot scrub na rin ako, feeling ko natatanggal ang lahat ng kalyo, dead skin, at kaliskis ko kapag ginagawa ko yun, di pa ako nakuntento, niyaya ko pa siya na gayahin ako..... ang saya-saya. Di lang yun, nagswimming pa kaming mag-anak sa napakalinaw na tubig ng Pacific Ocean by the Whiterock Beach, at kahit illegal, nanguha na rin kami ng ilang pirasong talaba. Dito lang ako nakaranas manalaba, at sa tuwing may makakapa akong talaba, wish ko sana naging coins na lang ito, kahit 25 cents lang, babaliwalain ko ang mapudpod ang aking mga kuko sa kakakalkal sa mga buhangin na iyon.

Pagdating ng Friday night, eto na ang parusa. Na sun-burn ang inyong senyora. Kahit sa pagtulog sa kama, di na halos magawa, paano po, ang hapdi-hapdi talaga, any kind of cloth rubbing against my skin is like rubbing salt and vinegar (pigaan nyo na rin ng siling labuyo) against a raw wound. Iyak ang beauty ko, panay ang bangon para pumunta ng banyo at magwisik ng malamig na tubig sa aking buong katawan.

And guess what, the reason why I would not post any pictures here despite the nice memories of our trips, I just realized that I have put on more weight, more than I have imagined. Sabi ng asar kong Mister, feeling nya parang baboy lang siya sa taba, pero ako mukha nang elepante..... waaaaaaaah!

Kaya ngayon summer, ang aking motto," Grasya, magdusa ka". Paggaling ng sunburn ko, istart ako sa diet the healthy way. I am aiming to loose 20lbs by my birthday. That's several months from now, but I think, it is more than achievable, yes, but of course, I wanted to make sure that I remain healthy, and it shouldn't just be result oriented, but also should become my lifestyle. When I get there folks, I shall show you my pics befor and after. Bye now.

Dahil Summer Na, Halina't Maglakwatsa!

Well guys and girls, summer na dito sa British Columbia, at tama lang ang sunshine. Di masakit sa balat ang sikat ng araw, and often, it rains every one to two weeks for a day or two, kaya, di gaanong natutuyo ang mga halaman sa paligid.

At siyempre, kapag ganito ang klima, well anufangaba ang trip ng barkada, e di..... lamyerda, di ba? Although bago pa nga lang kami dito sa Canada, marami na rin kaming mga bagong friends, and take note,...so far wala pa naman kaming nagiging frenemies.... so most of the time laging masaya. At dahil itong BC ay nature province, I mean, the sun, the sea, the mountains and parks are just nearby around you anywhere you go, lalo na dito sa napuntahan naming lugar, ay naku, mabusog na lahat ng senses mo. Ang iyong mga mata, refreshed na refreshed, each time you visit a theme park, at kung malakas ang loob mo, mamitas ka na rin ng mga blueberries, raspberries, etc na nariyan lang sa paligid. Kaya lang ako di ko kinakain, ang isip ko kasi, naku baka kung sino at ano pa umihi dyan, di ko alam noh? I mean, malay ko, baka may squirrel o skunk na type diligan ang mga yun...... alam nyo na.

Anyway, andirito ang mga pictures na kuha namin sa adventures namin sa Chilliwack Lake. Doon naman ay may fresh water lake by the mountains. Masarap at malinis ang tubig. Sarap mag picnic, at mag unwind.

una, ako lang.

aba, may sumunod na Jessica

hanggang sa gaya na rin ang James

At manguna sa pagtampisaw

At akitin ang mga bata

Hamunin sila kung sino malakas ang loob

Ayan, umubra na ang technique ni Gracia
Pagkatapos ng saya, kahit giniginaw na, pose muna sa puno.

At hayaang matapos ang maghapon at maubos ang lakas nila.

Pasensiya Na.

Mga kaibigan, pasensiya na talaga at pinabayaan ko na itong aking blog (feeling may mga readers, no?). Ilang buwan pa lang kasi kami rito sa Canada, at siyempre, kahit feeling settled na kami, di pa rin maiwasang may mga bagay na dapat i-prioritize more than blogging. Pero, kahit ganito ang kalagayan ko sa ngayon, madalas pa rin akong dumalaw sa mga paborito kong bloggers. Mas gusto ko pa nga magbasa ng blogs kaysa magazines, eh. Pakiramdam ko kasi, ang blog, totoo, no holds bar. Eka nga, ang mga writers, basta isinusulat ang nasasaloob nila, kesehodang makasakit sila, di ba. Why not? E kung totoo naman ang sinasabi, di ba?

Anyway, I have decided to make this blog more personal. Dati, kumikita ako sa blog na ito sa pamamagitan ng pag-blog ng mga sponsored reviews, but from this time on, napagtanto ko na di ko na kailangan muna yun, instead, I will just blog on whatever my heart should content. Kasi naman, mas feeling ko may intriga kapag idea ko lang ang isusulat ko di ba? may laman kumbaga! Unlike kapag paid reviews, pilit lang ang paggawa mo ng contents ng entry na yun, at the same time you have to meet the requirements para pumasa ka sa advertizers quality control. Feeling ko, nadidiktahan lang ako, and I am one person that doesn't like to be dictated. Meron pa naman natitirang disisyon dito sa aking kukute, kaya sabi ko sa aking sarili, samantalahin ko na muna, bago pa ako magkaroon ng dementia.

Kaya folks, I promise, madadalas na naman ang aking pagpo-post simula ngayon. In fact, napakarami kong topics na gusto i blog lately kaso nga lang talagang busy ako sa trabaho, kaya napapabayaan ko na itong blog ko ng husto. Di bale, from now on, dadalasan ko na ang pagdalaw.

O siya, sige.... mamaya ulit.

See ya!

Tumpak!

I have read this essay from the Inquirer.net, and lo, I would not add anymore. Just as it is, nothing more, nothing less. Tumpak!

Flag day seeks to promote love of country. These days, everywhere, we see big flags emblazoned with the words, “Pilipinas Kong Mahal.”
But do we really love our country? Maybe so, but we certainly have a funny way of showing it.
The Philippines is blessed with an abundance of natural resources—forests, seas, rivers, lakes, and marine and wildlife. But what do we do?
We pollute the air we breathe, ravage our forests, defile our lakes and rivers, ruin our corals and poison our fish and aquatic life. We litter our streets and dump garbage on our waterways. We treat our natural resources as if they do not belong to us.
Many behave as if they have no pride in being Filipinos. Four out of 10 Filipinos want to leave the country and reside elsewhere. Many are even ashamed of being identified as Filipinos when they go abroad. Our so-called educated avoid speaking their native tongue. To speak with a pronounced native accent is considered “un-cool.” Many struggle to speak English, no matter how broken, because not to be able to is looked down upon.
We are unmindful of our responsibilities as citizens. We close our eyes to the corruption around us. We blatantly break the law, traffic rules most especially, every chance we get. We love to stress our individual rights, but we ignore other people’s. We clean our own backyards, but dump the trash on our neighbor’s side of the street.
We sell our votes and elect plunderers and nincompoops to the highest offices. We give known cheaters seats of honor. Our public officials behave like masters, forgetting that they are public servants. They abuse authority, take bribes, get involved in scandalous contracts, take liberties with public funds, and treat our institutions with utter disrespect.
James Fallows once said that we remain underdeveloped because of our “damaged culture,” having been under Spanish, American and Japanese rule for the last 500 years or so. Randy David puts it this way: “This trait goes by other names. It is the barbarism of mindless profit-seeking, of getting something for almost nothing, of doing brisk business on the despair of others. It is the culture of shabbiness, of mediocrity, of neglect, and of perpetual improvisation. It is the absolute contempt for the public.”
Why do we have no pride in being Filipino? We are so unlike our South Korean neighbors who, when their country was in dire straits, donated their jewels and precious possessions to help fund their government. We are so unlike our Japanese neighbors who care and hold sacred their hills and mountains. To them, the faintest suspicion of wrongdoing can make top officials jump off a cliff. To them, one’s honor comes first, and failing to do right by their country is unforgivable.
The flags we are displaying these days should remind us that we are no longer under foreign control. It is time for all of us to wake up and behave like true Filipinos who could truly say with pride and dignity, “Pilipinas Kong Mahal.”
—OSCAR F. SANTOS,Coconut Industry Reform Movement (COIR),84 Masikap St., Teachers’ Village, Quezon City

A long lost friend......found at last!

Because you're my Best Friend..

When you are sad, I will dry your tears.

When you are scared, I will comfort your fears.

When you are worried, I will give you hope.

When you are confused, I will help you cope.

And when you are lost, And can't see the light.

I shall be your beacon Shining ever so bright

This is my oath. I pledge till the end.

Why you may ask? Because your my friend.

author Monica Mai -Chua Lo

nag sisentimyento na naman ako sa mga oras na ito, paano po kasi, nahanap ko na rin ang nawawala kong kaibigan. Matagal na ring panahon ko siyang hinanap, in fact, to be exact I left her without paalam in February 1992, few weeks before kaming gumradweyt sa high school. Oo na, talagang masama ang aking ginawa, bad girl kasi ako, walang modo, at di marunong sa mga madramang goodbyes'. Actually, when I left our place, nobody knows that I am leaving that day. I went to my class who were just practicing graduation songs that day, it is very hard for me to say the truth that I am leaving in the afternoon for Manila. The decision was made on a Wednesday that I am going to Manila for College, my dad got me a fare ticket on a Thursday afternoon for a Friday voyage. Kaya, talagang mabigat sa aking puso ang sabihin kahit kaninuman na ako'y lilisan, at di alam kung kailan ako babalik. At totoo nga, hanggang ngayon, di pa rin ako nakakabalik doon.

Malinaw pa sa aking isipan ang aking high school life. Sa ngayon, lagi-lagi kong kinukwento sa aking nagdadalagitang anak ang tungkol sa aking matalik na kaibigan, kung paano namin hina-handle ang aming mga kalukuhan, at kung paano namin asarin ang aming mga titser, at kung paano kami tumatakas sa school sa oras ng lectures, at kung an-ano pa. So at least she's been warned, I have been through it before, therefore I would know if ever she would do it, and yeah, that's a kinda warning her! and I guess, she knows.

Anyway, back to the topic: So I left our province, punung-puno ng pangarap at pagmamahal. Sa totoo lang, lungkut na lungkot ako ng mga oras na iyun. Di ko mapigil ang aking mga luha sa pagpatak, kasi di ko alam ang aking magiging buhay sa aking patutunguhan, ngunit ang aking nalalaman ay, yun lang ang aking pag-asa upang ako ay makatungtong ng kolehiyo, kaya lakas loob akong dumayo sa masikip, masalimuot na buhay siyudad.

So nag-college nga ako, aking tinapos ang pagka-nars, kumuha agad ng lisensya, nag-asawa, nag-anak, nagtrabaho, and here I am right now. Pero sa loob ng mahabang panahon na iyon, lagi-lagi kong ninanasa, na sana, minsan matagpuan ko ulit ang dati kong kaibigan. Ang sarap gunitain ang matatamis naming tawanan, asaran, at siyempre may tampuhan. Di rin maiwasan ang selosan. Yes, selosa ako, gusto ko ako lang ang kaibigan nya, at kapag nag-ha-hang-out siya sa iba, masama loob ko. Pero di ko inaamin yun sa kanya, baka kasi isipin nya tomboy ako, o kaya naman baka masakal siya sa akin, kaya sige na nga, and of course, may pride din ako, na kadalasan di naman umuobra, I kept telling myselft then, well, if she is happy with her/him, I'll find another friend..... huh! Kita nyo na kung gaano ako kamaldita! Wag ka, madalas, di naman epektib, because at the end of the day, my heart says, she is still the friend I need.

Noong isang linggo, I found her on the net. I am so excited kaya kahit oras ng trabaho, sige internet ang beauty ko just to catch up with her. Palitan kami ng email. Katulad ko, may pamilya na rin sya, at masaya. Kung di lang malayo ang kinaroroonan ko ngayon, malamang, nandoon na ako sa bahay nila para maki-tsismis. Parang biglang nabuhay ang aking highschool life and memories. Ang sarap-sarap balikan.

Nasa Trabaho Ako Ngayon!

Yes!, nasa trabaho ako ngayon at alas tres ng madaling araw, pero eto, dilat ang mata at gising na gising ang diwa. Umpisa pa lang kasi ng shift ko, etong ICU ay super busy, para bang lahat ng pasyente e gustong pumanaw na, at kami namang mga manggagawa, e ayaw silang payagan, ngeeeek! Porke moderno ang siyensya, eto ngayon, push button na lang lahat ang ginagawa para magbigay ng mga gamot, pero di ibig sabihin e, magaan ang trabaho namin. Kulang na nga lang aking hilingin na ako sana ay mayroong sampung pares ng mga kamay para mag control ng lahat ng mga gadgets na ito. Para ma gets nyo, isa-isahin ko: walong volumetric pumps, isang epidural pumps, isang ventilator, tatlong drain, isang feed pump, isang overhead monitor, isang central monitor, at dalawang suction, may catheter, at flexiseal or fecal collector. Lahat ng yan minomonitor ko at ino-operate kada ora, at lahat ng yan e nakakabit sa aking nag-iisang pasyente na ilang araw ng ayaw gumising. But of course, all those things does not come first but the patient. Imagine na lang ninyo kung ilang beses akong paikut-ikot sa bedside ng pasyente ko, palagay ko di bumaba sa isandaan bawat shift. Pasensiya na, di ko binibilang e. Dagdag numero lang yan para sa lumalabo ko nang utak. Minsan na curious ako, nag-ipit ako ng stepcounter sa aking bulsa, out of 12 hour shift, I have done more or less seven thousand steps! Wow, kaya palang ang lalaki na ng mga binti ko at may nakikita na rin akong mga maliliit na varicose veins.
Sa loob-loob ko, pwede ko kayang i-sue ang aking employer for work-related overfatigue? Nya....if I started one, perhaps everyone will either laugh at me or follow me. Sakit sa ulo siguro nun.
Pero kahit ganun pa man, mahal ko ang aking profesyon. Di naman sa pagmamayabang, sa labin-tatlong taon kong pagiging nars, bilang lang sa numero ng mga daliri ng aking mga kamay ang namatay na pasyente na aking ni-luk after sa aking shift, at yun e talagang doon na talaga ang punta, kaya di na ako nagre-ak pa ng sobra, baka kasi ako'y balikan e, takot kaya ako sa multo no?!
Anyway, tonight, buti na lang at at this hour medyo nag-calm down itong unit, pero too late na para ako'y mag-break. Gawa ng adrenalin rush, higly energized ako this time, kaya ito, nagba-blog pagkatapos kong i-organize lahat for the next shift. Hay, buhay nars.